Terps Football Preview: Week Three

Since this is a sports blog, I thought I would put in my two cents about sports. The problem is I don't know anything about sports. If you were to ask me, "Cain, what do you think about this week's matchup between the Cowboys and the Packers?" I would say, "I went to Dallas once for a Deca convention. It sucked." I just don't find myself a "sports guy" even though I like watching sports. I guess that makes me a tad less manly.

However, I do know a little bit about University of Maryland Football because I am a Terp myself and I went to this year's first two home games vs. Delawhere and Californication. And after we topped Number 23 last Saturday, and no I don't mean that we solved the puzzle of why that Jim Carey movie blew royally, I thought I would give you guys a preview of how bad Eastern Michigan will fellache every Terrapin privey this weekend.

This week, in discussing the team's preparation for playing the E-Mich Eagles, big boy Ralph "Fridge" Friedgen told the press, "We have to keep on getting better, and that's how we'll have a good season." Huh? Damn, Fridge, you must have graduated from Bowie State. Fridge was ranked #5 on www.coacheshotseat.com (where you go to see which coaches are about to get fired) just last week before the Cali game, and this quote serves as sufficient proof for that ranking. Come on, Ralph, are you really just now figuring out that for y'all niggas to win games you have to get BETTER? Better does not mean being ranked #1 your third season with the team and then for the next five years you gradually increase your Twinkie intake while steadily decreasing your good ole Terrapin gumption. We need you, Fridge. Well, we don't really need you necessarily, we need winning. So far this season, though, you're showing me you might just be able to deliver. But if you don't, I'm going to get Chuck Jeffries to put a helicopter pad over you.

With that said, I hope the Terps come out Saturday fired up enough after punishing Cal to beat the Eagles by at least two touchdowns. On the other hand, UMD loves to beat great teams one night and lose to D2-caliber ones the next. I guess we will have to see come 1 PM Saturday on Chevy Chase Bank Field.

Honestly, though, I go to Terps games because they are just so darn fun, win or lose. Either way, I'll be tailgating in Lot 11, making everyone do dizzy bats until they throw up.